CULTURE DRINK Wine

YOUR GUIDE TO WINE WITHOUT BEING A WINE SNOB

We’re sure you know that we love our wines, maybe a bit too much. And, while we’re far from experts, we know a few things that might just get us by. One thing we know in particular – it’s no fun being a wine snob.

Of course, there’s no shame in understanding wine, in fact it’s a skill many would like to call their own. But, there’s a fine line between loving your wines and being overly generous with your knowledge about it at the dinner table. Here’s a few things to remember on your journey to becoming an oenophile (that’s a fancy word for a wine connoisseur) so the next time you’re in public you won’t be labelled ‘thaaaattt person’.

Low key swirl and sniff

People that loudly swirl, sniff and slurp their wine in public rightly deserve what’s coming to them, to be honest. Yes friends, swirling aerates the wine (draws oxygen into the wine) which then releases aroma and essentially makes the wine taste better or less acidic, but you don’t need to make a bloody show of it. You can do it subtly and get the same result. The trick is to keep your glass on the table, swirl once or twice and inspect from there.

Swirling your wine is also known as orbital shaking, which sounds pretty saucy to us, but for the love of your social life please don’t use this term at the dinner table or anywhere near us.

Don’t be the beaujolais guy

Just like when a rocket scientist starts speaking to friends about various elements of metaphysics, it’s hard to maintain engagement when trailing off about the legs and tannin in your glass. So, instead of using wine jargon when describing a particular wine, break it down to its basic components – appearance, smell, taste, ability to get you frisky – y’know, normal stuff.

Just don’t be weird and intimidating, is what we’re saying. No one wants to be the ‘beaujolais’ guy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Wine festivals are a free for all

Look, if you must, this is probably the only place apart from some CBD gallery opening slash charity, that you can really let your inner wine snob go rogue. But let us know when you’re going so we can stay home.  Ta.

Semillon, Chardonnay, Pinot, Merlot, Cabernet, Shiraz – we want all the colours of the wine rainbow and a great place to find them all (in a non-threatening environment) are wine festivals, where local wineries show off their best and most popular bottles. Here you’ll get access to winemakers – usually the least pretentious of the lot. Sometimes you’ll also get to taste for free, which is obviously the best thing about wine tasting in general.

Help don’t hinder

Once you’ve really found your groove in the vino world, it’s nice to be the person amongst a group that knows a little bit about wine. You get to be the guy or girl that orders the bottle for the table and everyone will love you for it (except the beaujolais guy), but that’s about as far as it goes. Unless they ask, they probably don’t want you to explain the history, viticulture and complexities of the chosen wine – if you actually know anything about those. Just leave you wine lingo at home, mates.

So, what have we learnt here? Probably not that much hey, but didn’t we have fun!

At the end of that day, there are no rules in wine drinking, sort of. No one can really tell you what you do and don’t taste, whether you should or shouldn’t drink straight from the bottle. But, we can say definitively, if you happen to catch the label of wine snob, it will probably haunt your social life forever and you will most likely be doomed to hang at home alone cuddling up to your decanter and 2017 Halliday Wine Companion.

 


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